Friday, April 22, 2011

A Prelude

I wrestled with posting my story below on Good Friday. It is a day that is set apart to remember the reality of what Jesus did when He consciously made the choice to suffer and die. I want to honor that.

But the reality is that what I have written connects very directly to Good Friday--for me personally.

Good Friday was a day of victory for the world. But no one knew it at the time. Jesus' suffered. He was humiliated. Abandoned. Seemingly Alone.

His followers were disillusioned. They couldn't understand what or why it was all happening. They didn't know yet that there was a purpose to the pain. Sunday hadn't come yet.

In some areas of my life, I feel like I am suspended between Friday and Sunday. I can't see the whole picture--or don't realize that God is still working out a bigger plan. Good Friday reminds me--gives me the assurance--that there is an empty tomb around the corner. It is on the horizon.

It was not God's plan for my son to die. I make no correlation between Josiah's death and Jesus' sacrifice. But I do see how God wastes nothing. He can bring such complete and glorious restoration that it looks like He planned the whole mess He redeems. He's that good.

Father has very intimately been taking my hand and walking me through some of the most painful terrain of my heart. He has asked me to isolate memories and events one by one so that He can show me what I couldn't see as each one unfolded.

And in that process He is gently pulling back the curtain, and revealing the empty tomb. And the resurrected Jesus is walking through the garden of my soul--with victory in His hands and a new song for my heart.

11 comments:

  1. Hey! I just wanted to tell you to hang in there and to keep sharing yourself like this. You're going to help a lot of people, including yourself. Hope to see you soon.

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  2. "I feel like I am suspended between Friday and Sunday"... I am very moved by your post Angela. This "in-between" time where we live with sorrow as we journey on toward completion He is... ohhh... "revealing the empty tomb".

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  3. Hi Angela,
    Well, I had typed a HUGE response, but I guess God had another plan (as I went to post it said there was an error!).
    Anyway, I am so encouraged by you and getting to share this journey. God is the GOD of hope and I am reminded of this in your life and as I have been studying Isaiah.
    I wanted to share this as I know God is bringing light and hope in you and through you.

    Isaiah 59:21-60:5

    21 “And this is my covenant with them,” says the Lord. “My Spirit will not leave them, and neither will these words I have given you. They will be on your lips and on the lips of your children and your children’s children forever. I, the Lord, have spoken!
    1 “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see.
    For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you.
    2 Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth,
    but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you.
    3 All nations will come to your light;
    mighty kings will come to see your radiance.
    4 “Look and see, for everyone is coming home!
    Your sons are coming from distant lands;
    your little daughters will be carried home.
    5 Your eyes will shine,
    and your heart will thrill with joy. . .

    Love you so much!!
    Hugs,
    Erin

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  4. Angela Dear,
    I am writing this in the midst of my own tears. Your beautifully expressed words of your loss knocked on the door of my loss and all the pain came tumbling out.....again. I know it will never stop but it has already, and will continue to, take on another form. I am crying with you, hoping with you, and looking forward to a joyful future for both of us. Thank you for sharing your pain and your journey with us.
    Love always,
    Diane

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  5. Thank you friends for coming by and reading my words today. Matt, thank you for your encouragement. Val, as always, your love and support buoys me up. Erin, I'm sorry you lost your original comment, but I treasure the verses you shared. Diane, your vulnerability astounds me. I am honored.

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  6. My Sweet,
    Your healing is evident in your beautifully chosen words and I am blessed reliving each step with you. You are "Looking again" through different eyes as the trauma is easing and new life is being revealed. From ashes to beauty, God promises, this is His job and you, my dear, are a reflection of this REALITY! I love you am delighted to journey with you. If you haven't yet checked out my dream blog site here it is for you and I would love your feedback too.http://lookandlookagain.wordpress.com/
    Love you from Friday to Sunday!!! Noni

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  7. Noni,

    Having your words here is priceless as you have so selflessly walked through so much of the healing journey with me. I just got through reading your dream and wowza I can see why you wanted me to read it. I left a comment for you there. Love you.

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  8. "I feel like I am suspended between Friday and Sunday". like valerie, i was also moved by these words and i can completely relate to them as you know. you're so brave, ang, and i'm so glad that you're writing here. i pray you will find love and release and quiet and hope and come away satiated every time.

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  9. Love, release, quiet, hope, satiated... those words bring me comfort. I love your friendship, Annalea. I'm glad we're on the journey together.

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  10. Hi Angela,

    I just came accross your blog through Bel Kai Design's page. I just wanted to tell you that even without knowing you, I am truly in awe of and inspired by your courage in remembering these hard times and your outlook on it now. You have a beautiful way with words, as well. Thank you for sharing.

    Also, your post makes me think of a song that I have come to love by Francesca Batistelli called Time in Between. Here is just a portion:

    But it’s the time in between
    That I fall down to my knees
    Waiting on what You'll bring
    And the things that I can't see
    I know my song’s incomplete
    Still I'll sing in the time in between

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  11. Leslie,

    Thank you for taking the time to read my story and encourage my heart.

    I just finished listening to the song you quoted. Thank you. It won't be the last time I hear it! I have a special place in my heart for Francesca Batistelli because I had just written a poem about my Josiah when I came across her song, "Letting Go." Father used the title to reaasure my heart that letting go of the grief I had been holding onto was just what my heart needed.

    I wish I could look you in the eyes and thank you. But in the mean time, know that you have made a difference for me.

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